You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
