Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
