Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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