Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
