I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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