I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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