Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so let's talk penis.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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