Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
