While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
