Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
