508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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