My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
