Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am one with the molecules
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
