NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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