Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
