epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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