Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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