she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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