Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
