I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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