You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
