What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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