i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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