He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hippo gnu deer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
