You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
