is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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