I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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