If i could tip my vagina, i would.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
