But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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