I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
