Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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