Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
