Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
