At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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