All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
