my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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