im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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