Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
