I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
