I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I bet he comes in French.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
