we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
