There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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