gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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