oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
