i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
