i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
