can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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