Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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