Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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