can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize