i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
