He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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