Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
