im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
3 2 1 whiskey
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize