Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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