did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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