he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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