she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize