im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
