it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
