Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
