I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize